It’s been a while since I blogged about what’s going on with me. I haven’t forgotten to, in fact I very often think of things that I want to tell you about, but I just haven’t made time. Well, looks like I finally made time, and although I’m sure I’m going to be missing out great swathes of stuff that I’ve done, and thought, and places I’ve been, at least I’m getting back into the swing of things.
One of the reasons I haven’t made time for the blog is that I’ve been focusing loads on my health lately. Not exactly through choice, actually, but more because I seem to be falling apart.
Oh my gob
I’ve had a rash on my face for three months. Imagine that. I look like I’ve been sniffing glue; it’s all round my mouth and looks horrible. I can’t put anything on it and just have to ride it out. I’ve been to the chemist and the GP and their advice and treatment has only made it worse.
Finally, when the skin was so tight and dry on one side that it was pulling my skin taut and made me look like those photoshopped pictures of Thatcher having a stroke, I decided enough was enough. I bought some Pure Potions Skin Salvation moisturiser which I once reviewed for a men’s skincare blog post and hopefully I’ll be able to report good news soon.
Always on my mind
When you have something on your face it makes you very self conscious, and after having this for so long it’s really knocking my confidence. It’s not a great time, while I’ve just swapped SSRIs from Citalopram to sertraline and not enjoying the new side effects; the jaw clenching has got worse and I can’t stop eating. I’m now left with the prospect of coming off them entirely and trying to manage my mood without medication.
Oh my gob, again
The jaw clenching is 24/7 and giving me literal face ache, tense shoulders, aching neck, and I frequently wake up with headaches which is not exactly a nice start to the day. I went to the dentist to make sure my teeth weren’t being affected and fortunately he said that cause I’m clenching rather than grinding my teeth, they’ve at least avoided being worn down.
But, the not so good news is that I’ve got to have a wisdom tooth extracted. It’s been a while since I last had teeth pulled out – I think I was about 12 years old when I had four taken out at once – but I can remember enough to not relish the prospect.
Added to the fact that my face still hasn’t healed, and my bruised legs (from being hit by a car and from falling over badly on another day – cause they are entirely normal things to happen in the same week aren’t they) haven’t healed either, I can’t help feeling like it doesn’t rain but it pours lately.
Still, despite 2019 not being demonstrably better than the back end of 2018 yet, I’m still staying positive.
I’ve been trying to post about my achievements on Instagram. Bragging, basically. Because if you don’t blow your own trumpet then nobody else is going to do it for you. But mostly because I have to remind myself, that I am worth celebrating. The stuff I do or wrote or just who I am, is worth celebrating.
And besides, there’s only so many times you can have a wisdom tooth removed or be run over in one year, right? So now I just have to decide my outlook on life from here: am I going to get struck by lightning next week? Or am I gonna carry on smashing the shit out of life even if that sometimes just means healing and recovering.
Spoiler alert: I’m gonna carry on smashing the shit out of life.
Until next time, look both ways when you cross the road x