My knees feel like they’re made out of Play Doh. Hurty, weak, likely-to-buckle at any given moment kinda Play Doh. You might remember I mentioned my knees in my original Glow Up post that a combination of gained weight and lack of exercise has left them under considerable strain. So I decided to do something about it and bring you The Bees Knees: My Glow Up Continued – a fascinating insight into a portly woman who can’t even manage to bear her own weight.
Now, you might laugh (but I hope you don’t) at my brainwave. I guess most people might just get back to the gym or throw themselves into a sport and sort it quickly. Many others, I can only imagine, would’ve headed this all off at the pass a long time ago and wouldn’t find themselves moaning and groaning every time they get out of bed or have to stand for long periods of time.
But let’s deal the task in hand here: this is me we’re talking about. My brainwave is twofold: first I’ve started to support my knees to take some of the pressure off. Sounds dramatic? Well back when I was a lithe young thing I remember my Tae Kwon Do master teaching us that knees can only handle a certain amount of pressure – and as I started to look into the effects of my recent weight gain on my knees I was shocked (but perhaps not surprised) to read in a Harvard medical article that it can considerably increase my risk of osteoarthritis.
It went on to explain:
There are two ways that being overweight raises your risk for developing osteoarthritis (the most common joint disorder, which is due to wear and tear on a joint). First, excess weight puts additional stress on weight-bearing joints (the knee, for example). Second, inflammatory factors associated with weight gain might contribute to trouble in other joints (for example, the hands).
So you can kinda see why I have begun to sit up and take this all more seriously. Enter the Calibre Support knee brace with Velcro straps and open patella (that’s a little window for your kneecap to you and me), part one of my brainwave, which you can get off Amazon if you find yourself in a similar boat to me or have any lingering knee injuries that you need help with.
I ordered one for each knee (obvs) and they’ve been real life savers the past few weeks and also make me feel a bit like one of Janet Jackson’s backing dancers or a contestant on Gladiators (if that’s before your time then you really missed a treat – think Lycra and lots of fake tan and giant cotton buds).
And here’s the second part of my brainwave that the knee supports have been helping me with – I’ve signed up to this ‘fitness club’ (I hesitate to call it a gym; bear with me while I explain) and I just need that bit of extra support for my knees to get me going because I’ve grown so unaccustomed to any exercise.
It’s not a gym as such; imagine the lovechild of David Lloyd and the cast of Golden Girls: pastel sweatsuits, discussions about Ruby Wedding Anniversaries, teeny tiny hand weights, and full faces of Max Factor make up. Yes, I’ve committed to six months at a gentle fitness club for (apparently exclusively over 60s) women.
It’s great. Their motto is no mirrors, no Lycra, no men. I mean what’s not to love about that? And the best thing is I can almost rehabilitate myself over the next few months, doing gentle cardio, stretching, toning, and planning Mediterranean cruises I can’t afford with some lovely pensioners – all in my snazzy new knee supports.
Next stop, the London Marathon with Shirley and Pat from Tuesday mornings!