9 Things That Can Stay in 2017

New year, (mostly) new list of stuff I’ve had enough of. Here’s 9 things that can stay in 2017.

Cheeky Anything

Are we really going to drag this cringe inducing adjective kicking and screaming into yet another year? Whether it’s Lad Bible bashers with their Nando’s or mums on Facebook with their vino, the only things that should be prefixed with the C word are ‘monkey’ or ‘bitch’.

Taking Pictures of Strangers

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: taking pics of unassuming people in public is the lowest form of content. I get especially angry seeing videos of vulnerable people being exposed for retweets and likes.

Even if it’s someone who’s drunk or on drugs; they’re hardly likely to be able to give any meaningful consent. If you circulate this kind of stuff on social media you’re compounding the problem – please reconsider before you hit ‘share’.

Fake News

Speaking of what you share online, it’s time to stop promoting ugly and hateful propaganda around the world. Admittedly, the people who readily do this are often not the sharpest knives in the drawer, but it’s easy to see how it fits their narrative. It’s also pretty easy to do by accident.

Question is, what do we do to combat it? Answer: if in doubt, share nowt. And if you see something that is blatant hatred then report tweets, block users, call out your racist (“some of my best friends are black”) uncle on Facebook – you never know, your actions could stop the propaganda spreading to a further five, ten, or 500 people.

Donald Trump

And speaking of Fake News, this candy floss headed orange ball of wrinkled spite is now a parody of himself. If it wasn’t enough that every single day that he’s in office he’s putting the world in danger, he’s tainted Home Alone 2 and Sex and The City for life. Time to go.

Making Your Kids ‘Peace & Pout’

There’s no generation as cursed in the childhood photograph department as kids these days. The 70s had massive collars and bowl cuts, the 80s boasted highly flammable shell suits and the 90s had to suffer curtains and scrunchies.

There’s absolutely nothing endearing however about making your child contort themselves into hip-jutting poses, with sultry puckered lips and peace signs. It’s naff and it’s catapulting something that’s naturally beautiful into unnecessarily premature adulthood.

Seriously – whatever happened to ‘Say Cheese’?

Staging Texts for Likes

No, you didn’t just accidentally text your Mum about drugs and you definitely don’t have a girlfriend who leaves you beers and a note whenever you buy a new video game.

And the sooner you stop this shit the sooner we can stem the tide of “100% didn’t happen” replies in the comments. TYSM.

Obsession with Unicorns

Grow. Up.

Sexual Harrassment

2017 sounded the death knell for secrecy and shame around being harassed whatever your industry or walk of life. Let 2018 be the year we bury it for good.

Gin

Still hate it.

Until next time, happy new year to you all. Fingers crossed POTUS doesn’t press his massive button before 2019.

x

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