“He thinks he’s being funny” I found myself explaining to my 3 year old’s preschool teacher “except he’s got these….freaky eyes….and anyway he told me he made a little girl cry so I wonder if you could perhaps maybe encourage him NOT to do his Paddington Bear stare at nursery?”
These are the things that you never envision yourself having to say out loud in later life when you’re young and carefree and wondering whether you could use your taxi money to have another couple of drinks and just walk those 7 miles home with your shoes in your hand.
These are the things that you can hear come out of your very own mouth and you’re well aware what a complete and utter petty idiot you sound because indeed that’s what you’ve become these days but the issue of whether your child’s very best Paddington Bear stare is giving other kids nightmares is a big real life deal.
And it’s moments like this that I can all at once feel very mum-like but at the same time suffer from imposter syndrome. Have you heard of it? The feeling that you’re going to be ‘found out’ any moment now? I feel like that near enough every morning when I take my son into nursery; like everyone around me is a real mum or dad and I’m just some kind of gormless babysitter or big sister.
Anyway Easter is around the corner and I can have a break from imagining disapproving stares (although if I’m honest some of the other parents are absolute horrible twats but that’s a story for another time). I’ve got some Easter crafts planned me and Little Lord Zero Attention Span, although one of the more ambitious projects I had in mind involved sawing some twiggy branches off a tree in my back garden but it’s suddenly sprouted leaves and catkins and all sorts and I hadn’t accounted for that. So, I might just buy some twigs, because that’s the kind of stupid shit I’ll spend money on but then tut if online shops try and charge me £3.99 for delivery.
What I’ve Been Reading
I’ve followed Kentucky-born, Liverpool-based megababe and lifestyle blogger Dori on Instagram for a while now and was very intrigued by what she wrote about something called MI/MCI which I’d never heard of before. It’s a chemical found in absolutely LOADS of cosmetics and can wreak havoc on your skin. It’s well worth having a read of her post Maladies, Melodies, Allergies on her website Gosh Dori to find out more about it and follow her on Instagram cause she’s super cute.
I finished The Girl On The Train and although I never bandy spoilers about I didn’t enjoy it very much. I liked the style with the different voices, but I didn’t much like the characters. It was a bit miserable. I know it’s not much of a book review but I thought that they were all really fucking unlikeable and coming from someone whose favourite literary heroines are turbo brats Catherine Earnshaw and Scarlett O’Hara, I don’t say that lightly.
I do like the fairly recent Instagram feature where you can ‘bookmark’ people’s pictures, which will let me save images of books I want to remind myself to read. I’ve only got a few things on the list so far and haven’t actually got round to paying my library fine yet so haven’t got anything new to read at the moment. If you’ve got any recommendations they’d be very welcome!
What I’ve Been Writing
I wrote a little Mother’s Day piece for the lovely people at The Guide the other week all about how boss Scouse Mums are. Don’t worry if your mum isn’t Scouse; it’s not your fault and I’m sure she has some good points.
Actually, between you and me, the irony is that my mum would blanch at the thought of me writing something so vicariously boastful, and what she calls ‘Professional Scousers’ make her roll her eyes so hard you’d think she was getting a message from the afterlife. She does do a cracking pan of Scouse though.
Away from the blog, I’ve been collating ideas for my ’40 before 40′ list – kind of like a bucket list (but I don’t much care for that term) of things I’d like to try and places I’d like to go before I’m 40. But that’s a story for another time…
Until next week; awkward hugs and air kisses,
READ: This is the Week That Was #18 featuring Adrian Mole and Duck Fries…